I just visited 17 countries in two weeks and didn’t go anywhere. Wait, I did go somewhere. I went to work. The first morning on the rig I went to Poland. Two of the dynamic position operators on the bridge are from Poland. I’ve been to Poland in person, so we had a good conversation in English about my travels there. Good thing they spoke English too. 

When I went to the rig floor, to the main side of the derrick, I visited Latvia. Never been there, but the driller, Vasyli, gave me a good tour, in English, thank you very much. Afterward, I turned around and visited Scotland on the axillary side of the derrick. I’ve been there too, so that visit didn’t take long. Then, as I debated whether or not to go back to Latvia, the door opened and Lithuania, Yugoslavia, and Ukraine walked in. Those visits were quicker since the Texan I speak is not readily understood.

Siri even asks me, “What,” sometimes.

On the way back to my office I stopped in Denmark to visit with the captain of the ship, then he and I went to Canada to see the technical section leader before I had to go Egypt to see the derrickman in the mud lab.

When I get hungry, I go to the Philippines, not Hungry. All the catering staff is from there. They’re good cooks too.

This place is nuts. Seventeen countries represented—added to those previously mention is Brazil, Croatia, Holland, Indonesia, Romania, Azerbaijan and Louisiana. 

And I’m working with Doobie again. Nope, he doesn’t do dope, but he acts like he’s on crack.